“Of course I’ll hurt you. Of course you’ll hurt me. Of course we will hurt each other. But this is the very condition of existence. To become spring, means accepting the risk of winter. To become presence, means accepting the risk of absence.”
“The truth is, I’m hopelessly in love with you. I said it many times to you, and I’ll say it many times about you. I’m crazy, I’m obsessive, I’m needy, I’m protective, I don’t care. I fell in love with you, and now I don’t know how to fall out of love. Now I don’t know where to put the memories, how to shake the thought of you and the truth is I fucking miss you. God damn, I want to hate you, I want to feel my blood boil at the thought of you, but I have nothing to hate you for. All you ever did was shower me with love, how could I hate you for making me happy? How could I hate somebody so innocently perfect? I miss you, I miss us, I miss the way you used to look at me and I miss the way you talk. I miss your stupid walk and your gross facial hair, I miss the tiny little things that I used to tease you for because now I don’t get to laugh at them. I took everything for granted, I took our entire relationship for granted because I made up in my head that it was forever, that for once a boy wasn’t lying to me. And I was so damn stupid to think that, to fall in love as if there was no tomorrow because of course you were going to leave and of course you were lying. What do I have that is so special? Nothing, I got nothing. And now you’re gone, gone for good and I’m left here not knowing what the fuck to do. Not knowing where to place all this love and not knowing how to smile on my own. You carried me through so much and dropped me like I was nothing, like everything we went through was all just a dream, and I guess now I’m living a fucking nightmare”
At the dinner table, my sister asked all of us what color we thought her boyfriend’s shirt looked like. After we all said gray, she turned to him and said “now tell them what color you think it is” and he just quietly replied “dark white”